Terra Nova
by Mizvoy
Summary: PostEndgame. Another possible future for JC. In five chapters, all posted!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Starfleet belongs to Paramount. No infringement intended.  
  
Summary: In which our favorite command team find out that being a team is what they do best.  
  
Terra Nova by Mizvoy  
  
Chapter 1: Triax Colony  
  
Chakotay spent Saturday afternoons in the wood shop at the Triax community center making shelves and wooden toys for the colony's childcare facility or furniture for the families' homes or quarters. He loved doing things with his hands, and working with wood was completely different from his usual job of providing security and supervising transportation for the settlement. More importantly, the work kept his mind off of everything that had happened in the two years since Voyager's return, all the losses he'd experienced and all the mistakes he'd made.  
  
He was attaching wheels to a small pull train, a tedious job that required complete concentration. A piano concerto played softly and the late afternoon sunlight streamed through the open windows. The room was filled with the clean smell of wood and varnish and the distinctive aroma of coffee too long on the burner. At this late hour, everyone else had finished the day's work, but Chakotay had one last train to complete before he was willing to move on. He'd have to return to his "real" job the next day, and he disliked leaving his work area cluttered with a half-finished project.  
  
He looked up at the setting sun and redoubled his efforts. Tom and B'Elanna had invited him for dinner, and he'd have to leave soon or risk being late and suffering the half-Klingon woman's wrath. He was humming contentedly with the music when he became aware of someone standing in the doorway.  
  
He glanced up and saw that she was a petite older lady with gray hair, bright blue eyes, and a natural air of authority. For a split second, he thought Admiral Janeway had somehow been resurrected and brought to his workshop, but rational thought quickly prevailed. More likely, she was part of the Federation inspection team they had been expecting in the next day or two.  
  
"Are you lost?" he asked, giving her a friendly smile.  
  
"I don't believe so," she answered, walking into the shop and picking up one of his trains. "You make toys?"  
  
He shook his head as she studied his work. He noticed the shape of her hands, her thin, long fingers with short unpolished nails. "I make lots of things. Today, I'm making toys. Sometimes I make furniture. Shelves. Kitchen tables and chairs. Headboards."  
  
She rolled the train on the table, smiling when it move smoothly. She had freckles, he noticed, faded now, but still visible on her nose and hands. "This is exceptionally good work. I wonder if I could purchase one for my grandson?"  
  
"They aren't for sale. But, I might be persuaded to make him one as a gift."  
  
She looked up suddenly, her eyes turning gray as she narrowed them, suddenly suspicious of his generosity. "Why would you do that for a stranger?"  
  
He smiled. "We haven't met, but we aren't strangers. You're Kathryn Janeway's mother."  
  
She grinned at him quirking one side of her mouth up in a way that brought to mind the painful recollection of Kathryn's crooked smile. "She showed you photos of us," the woman deduced. "You recognize me from them."  
  
"Possibly. But more likely, it was the color of your eyes. And your hands. And your smile. They're Kathryn's." He put down the toy he was working on and gestured at the table in the break area. "Won't you come in and sit down?"  
  
"Thank you." She pulled a stool from under one of the tables and perched on it. "Is that coffee I smell?"  
  
He chuckled. "It was coffee earlier today. I wouldn't have the nerve to serve such sludge to a Janeway. I'll make a fresh pot."  
  
"That would be kind of you." She watched him as he rinsed out the pot, measured a generous amount of coffee into the basket, and poured in cold water. "Good. You aren't chintzy with the coffee."  
  
"Kathryn threatened to throw me out an airlock when I made it too weak. I guessed you'd feel the same way." He set out a couple of mugs and then sat across the table from her as the familiar aroma of brewing coffee filled the room. Holding out his hand, he said, "By the way, I'm Chakotay."  
  
She took his hand. "Yes, of course. I recognized you. And the woman at the visitor center said I'd probably find you here. Call me Gretchen."  
  
"Welcome to Triax Colony, Gretchen." He paused a moment before pressing on. "You don't mind my asking what you're doing here."  
  
She laughed. "My daughter, Phoebe, and her husband live nearby, and I came for a visit. I decided to come and meet the members of the Voyager crew I missed."  
  
Chakotay frowned at the memory. "I regret sometimes that we left Earth so quickly. At the time, I just wanted to get away from the publicity and the constant pressure, but now I realize that we probably needed to stay longer, to allow more time for a sense of closure."  
  
Gretchen watched him retrieve the coffee. "I thought Kathryn should have insisted you stay a while longer. I told her so, but, she has a habit of hearing only the advice she wants to hear."  
  
"Oh, I know that," he laughed, holding up the full pot. "Black?" At her nod, he filled the second cup and returned to the table. "She was furious with us for pleading guilty to the charges of terrorism, so angry that I'm surprised she didn't insist that we leave the Federation altogether."  
  
She chuckled. "She does like to get her way. At least your service on Voyager served as your 'punishment,'" Gretchen said, sipping the hot liquid. "This is good, just what I needed after that long flight. Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome." He sat back, remembering his last conversation with Kathryn-his last argument with her. She had raged at him for his decision to plead guilty, because it meant that his tenuous standing in Starfleet was a moot point. No one with a criminal record could remain a Starfleet officer, and very few could find work anywhere near sector 001. When he'd left her office, she'd been in tears. He'd never seen her cry before, and the memory haunted him. "Where are you staying?"  
  
"At the guest quarters," she answered, nodding toward the building visible outside the windows. "I have a very nice room, thank you."  
  
"Kathryn didn't come with you?"  
  
"No." Gretchen put a hand to her temple in a gesture that was so reminiscent of Kathryn that he felt another stab of remorse. "She hasn't left the planet since Voyager returned except to attend the ceremony for Voyager's decommissioning."  
  
This far from Earth, it was easy to lose track of events there. The furor over Voyager's return had gradually cooled and Kathryn's face and activities were no longer reported on the newsvids as they once had been. But, he'd watched that ceremony with interest and wished he could've been beside his captain at that sad event.  
  
"I bet she hated for that to happen."  
  
"Oh, she did. She wanted Voyager back, I think, although she could never really have that, you know."  
  
He picked up on her tone of voice. "What do you mean?"  
  
"She thinks she misses the ship, not its crew." She finished the coffee, setting the mug down with a thump. "We all grieve in our own ways, Chakotay, and Kathryn is grieving deeply over the loss of her ship and crew. She's completed her mission, she's gotten the ship home, and now she doesn't know what to do with herself. She needs another demanding job, but Starfleet isn't sure they can trust her. So she simply works harder and waits."  
  
"Why can't they trust her?" In his mind, it would be impossible not to trust Kathryn. After all, she was a Starfleet captain, and one of the best he'd ever met. He'd trusted her instinctively from the very first moment he met her. "If you can't trust Kathryn Janeway, who can you trust?"  
  
"My point, exactly. Although no one says so directly, I believe it's because they blame her for Admiral Janeway's disregard for the temporal prime directive."  
  
"That wasn't our Kathryn. I met her, and Admiral Janeway was a completely different person! She was cynical, disillusioned, obsessed, and bitter. She tried her best to manipulate us into doing what she wanted, which was simply to get the ship home, but Kathryn resisted. She insisted that we get home only if we could damage the Borg, too." He stopped to look at Gretchen, realizing that he was ranting. "The admiral was the result of an additional sixteen years in the Delta Quadrant that our Kathryn escaped. It is unfair to judge her that way."  
  
"Of course. That's why they won't admit that they're doing it. But, they now know that Kathryn, in some timeline, is capable of such an action, so they distrust her in this one."  
  
He put his head in his hands. "Starfleet was everything to her. She must be completely disillusioned. What do they have her doing?"  
  
"Analysis. I think she's on year three of Voyager's journey."  
  
He groaned. "That must be maddening after seven years of constant tension and excitement."  
  
"Maddening and lonely."  
  
Their conversation was interrupted by his comm badge, similar to the ones worn by Starfleet, but with the colony's insignia of three interlocked triangles. "Torres to Chakotay. Dinner's almost ready. You haven't forgotten, have you?"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Chakotay," Gretchen said, squeezing his hand. "I'm disrupting your plans." She stood up to leave. "Perhaps we can talk more tomorrow."  
  
"Wait," he said, stopping her with a gesture. "B'Elanna, I'm late because I have a very special visitor. Gretchen Janeway."  
  
There was a long pause. "The captain's mother?"  
  
"Yes. She's here visiting family and dropped by to say hello."  
  
"Well, good grief, bring her along! Tom! The captain's mother's coming for dinner!" Chakotay smiled at the excitement in his friend's voice. "Mrs. Janeway! Please, come have dinner with us. We have more than enough food, and we've always wanted to meet you!"  
  
Gretchen blushed, but there was a familiar smile on her face. "I couldn't impose like that."  
  
"But, you're not imposing!" B'Elanna insisted. "We're having Chakotay over for dinner, any way. I promise it's no trouble. Please. Please come."  
  
Chakotay smiled at her. "They really mean it, Gretchen. It's all right." She nodded. "Okay, B'Elanna. I'll bring her by on my way to my place to clean up, if that's okay. I'm covered in sawdust."  
  
"That's great, Chakotay. I'm so excited!"  
  
The communication broken, Chakotay quickly stored his half-finished project in his work area, unplugged the coffeepot, and ushered the tiny woman out the door. "It's only fair to warn you about their daughter, Miral. She's one quarter Klingon, three quarters photon torpedo."  
  
Gretchen laughed. "My kind of girl!"  
  
He watched the older woman quickly establish a friendly rapport with the Paris family before he excused himself and returned to his quarters to clean up. He'd showered and was in the process of shaving when the peculiarity of the situation hit him.  
  
He'd talked to Kathryn not a month earlier via subspace, yet she hadn't warned him of her mother's impending visit, an oversight very unlike her. In fact, she hadn't mentioned the fact that her mother was traveling to see Phoebe nor had she told him anything about her personal life. She asked him dozens of questions about his work and their friends, but she shrugged off the details of her life when he asked her, often terminating the commlink so quickly that he barely had time to tell her goodbye.  
  
Why had Gretchen Janeway gone out of her way to find him? What was wrong with Kathryn?  
  
  
  
To be continued 


	2. Terra Nova 2

Disclaimer: Starfleet belongs to Paramount. No infringement intended.  
  
Summary: In which our favorite command team find out that being a team is what they do best.  
  
Terra Nova by Mizvoy  
  
Chapter 2: Developments  
  
Annika Hansen was headed toward visiting officer's quarters at Starfleet Headquarters when she spied a familiar figure walking toward her. She smiled and quickened her pace. "Harry Kim! What are you doing here?"  
  
"I came to see my favorite cadet," he said, giving her a quick hug. "But, Icheb is on some sort of training exercise, and I was afraid I wouldn't find you before you headed back to Jupiter station. Looks like I found you just in time."  
  
"Just in time for what?"  
  
"I'm supposed to meet Tuvok for dinner in an hour and thought you and Axum could join us for a little Voyager reunion." He paused, sensing her reticence. "Unless you have other plans, of course."  
  
"No, I'm finished for the day and was on my way to meet Axum. The problem is that we have a prior commitment. We're supposed to meet Samantha and Naomi Wildman for dinner. Perhaps we could all dine together?"  
  
"That's a great idea! Call them. I haven't seen Naomi in months. Maybe we could contact the captain and have her join us, too."  
  
Annika shook her head. "I spoke to her earlier today, and she had a reception to attend this evening."  
  
"Too bad." Harry sighed. "I haven't seen her in months, either."  
  
"She's still commutes to Indiana every night. I don't think she's been off-planet but once since we got back."  
  
"Now that surprises me. I can't imagine Captain Janeway doing anything but commanding a starship."  
  
"Nor can I. Although she seems quite busy, she also seems a little troubled. I try to see her when we're on Earth, but she never really seems very happy."  
  
"No wonder if she's still stuck in the Analysis Division." Harry fell into step beside the former Borg as they walked toward her dormitory. "Maybe I should drop by the captain's office tomorrow and say hello."  
  
"I'm sure she'd be delighted to see you."  
  
"Then I'll do it," he decided. "Now, let me tell you about this restaurant Tuvok recommended."  
  
*  
  
Chakotay and Gretchen Janeway walked slowly back toward her room in the visitor's quarters. "What an energetic little girl," she said, her eyes sparkling. "And what a nice couple. I don't think I'd seen Tom Paris since he was in high school."  
  
"I don't know what I'd do without them," Chakotay admitted. "I was really lost when Voyager returned, and they helped me stay busy and involved. Tom found out about Triax Colony and paved the way for my job here, for all our jobs. It's been a comfort to have so many of Voyager's crew nearby. We were out there so long together that we became family."  
  
Gretchen was quiet for awhile. He had glided over the other big event following the destruction of the Borg hum-the arrival of another Borg sphere captained by Annika Hansen's long-time lover, Axum. She was sure that the breakup of his budding relationship with the former drone had added to his unhappiness and was glad that he'd had so many close friends with him in the months that followed. "Maybe that's it."  
  
Chakotay leaned down, unsure he'd heard her properly. "Maybe what's it?"  
  
She smiled sheepishly and shook her head. "It's nothing."  
  
He took her elbow and guided her toward a park bench. "Oh, no, you don't," he said, his voice firm. Kathryn had tried this type of subterfuge with him, but he'd learned to force her to share her thoughts. They sat down side-by-side on the bench and he turned to face her. "No disrespect intended, Gretchen, but I don't really think you looked me up just because you missed meeting some of Kathryn's crew."  
  
She blushed. "You don't?"  
  
"No. And I also know that Phoebe and her family don't live on Triax Colony or 'nearby,' either. Am I right?"  
  
She looked away, embarrassed at being caught in a lie. "They live on Omicron VII, which isn't all that far away."  
  
"But not that close, either." His face softened as he regarded the older woman, marveling at how much she reminded him of her daughter- stubborn and shrewd, and yet, in some indescribable way, also gentle and vulnerable. He found himself wanting to protect Gretchen, a feeling he'd felt instantly toward her daughter. His voice was soft. "Why are you here? Is something wrong with Kathryn?"  
  
"I wish I could say. She seems normal enough. She's busy with her work, and she's careful to attend the right receptions and parties. She's had some co-workers come to our home for dinner, including some of Voyager's crew. But, when she thinks I'm not looking, I see sadness in her face, loneliness so deep it breaks my heart." She studied the stars overhead. "I think she's grieving, Chakotay."  
  
"Grieving over Voyager?"  
  
The older woman nodded. "When I was packing to leave on this trip, she came in to my room to keep me company. I asked her to come with me. I told her we could stop here and visit the Maquis, but she just shook her head and left the room without a word. She refused to discuss it. She refused to talk about you and the others. Later that night I'm sure I heard her crying in her room." She sighed. "I can't be certain what she's upset about, Chakotay, but I think she feels guilty for your 'exile,' as she calls it. She misses her former crew. She grieves over losing you. All of you."  
  
Chakotay took a deep breath, and then he stood up and walked away for a moment of deeper thought. How would he feel if he had lost the entire crew? So many times, he'd thanked the spirits for keeping the Maquis together on Triax, for allowing such a large part of Voyager's community, his family, to continue to support him. How would he feel if he were in Kathryn's position? Kathryn had lost that family. The Maquis and many of the former Starfleet crew were light years away, and those members of the crew still in Starfleet had been scattered throughout the Federation. Annika was engrossed in her work at Jupiter Station and with Axum, Tuvok was busy on Vulcan, and Harry was a newly promoted Lieutenant Commander on the Yamamoto, a Galaxy class starship. No wonder she was grieving. She felt as if she'd lost everything, even her beloved ship.  
  
"Perhaps it's time for me to visit Earth," he said softly.  
  
Gretchen immediately joined him, touching his arm with her hand. "Would you, Chakotay? Of all her crew, I know she misses you the most."  
  
He turned to her. "Really? What makes you say that?"  
  
"She has a picture of you in the drawer of her bedside table." Gretchen blushed and looked away. "I noticed it one day when I was looking for one of her misplaced pips. In the picture, you're standing in front of a small portable Starfleet shelter. You're in civilian clothing and holding some strange looking plants. I've caught her looking at it quite often as I peek in to tell her goodnight."  
  
New Earth. The Talaxian tomatoes. "I will return with you, if you can wait for me to tie up some loose ends here," he promised. "Maybe I can talk her into coming back with me for a visit with the rest of the crew."  
  
Gretchen blushed. "I hope you won't find this presumptuous, but I already made arrangements for you to accompany me."  
  
Chakotay laughed. "Now I know where Kathryn gets her positive attitude!"  
  
He walked her to the visitor's quarters, promising to be packed and ready to accompany her when she left a few days later. Then he made his way to his small cabin and immediately went to his bedroom, where he sat down on his bed and slipped open the drawer of his nightstand. There he found the picture he'd often regarded as he tried to relax for sleep- Kathryn on New Earth, posing by the bathtub he'd made for her, the smile on her face genuine and touching, a smile intended just for him.  
  
*  
  
"Captain?" Harry Kim poked his head into the dimly lit office of his former commander, trying to see if she was there. "Captain Janeway?"  
  
"Is that you, Harry?" She ordered the lights to a normal level, and then rose from her desk, a big smile on her face. "What a nice surprise!"  
  
"I'm here for some advanced training," he said, giving her a polite hug. "Annika said I should come say hello."  
  
She was beaming at him. "I'm so glad." She looked around, as if trying to make up her mind about something. "I was just going through some relaxation exercises Tuvok taught me, but I would much rather talk to you. How about lunch?"  
  
"I'd like that."  
  
As they made their way to the cafeteria, Kathryn asked him dozens of questions about his work and what he'd been doing. "I'm sorry I missed the dinner last night," she said, her face clouded. "I'm sure it was more fun than Admiral O'Neill's reception."  
  
"No strippers jumping from a cake?"  
  
She laughed. "Nothing like that, I'm afraid. Not even a pool table." They filled their trays and found a table in a secluded section of the large, busy dining facility.  
  
They ate a few minutes in silence, when Harry said, "You know, I still smell my food before I eat it. I may never really recover from Neelix's cooking."  
  
The captain laughed out loud, nearly choking on her coffee. "I do, too, Harry! I keep thinking I'm going to come across some strange Delta Quadrant spice when I least expect it. And once in awhile, I even miss leola root."  
  
He laughed with her, watching her as she ate. She was so different from the woman he'd known on Voyager-friendly, out-going, even vivacious. She'd spoken to a dozen people warmly as they'd walked, and she had given everyone a friendly smile. He noticed her looking at him, and she leaned toward him. "Is something wrong? Do I have food stuck in my teeth?"  
  
He smiled. "No. I was just noticing how different you seem."  
  
"Different?"  
  
"Well, frankly, you remind me of the Kathryn Janeway we rescued from Quarra, when your memories had been altered. You seem much more open and funny, more relaxed and at ease with yourself."  
  
Her eyes softened as she put down her fork and covered his hand with her own. "You know, Harry, the woman on Quarra was much closer to the real me than I could ever be on Voyager. It isn't easy to be the captain of a ship twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, for seven long years. I'm surprised I didn't lose my mind." She sighed. "And you're right. I wasn't really myself after awhile."  
  
"That's why you're my hero," he said seriously. "Nobody else could have done what you did out there. You sacrificed so much. You put the crew and ship ahead of yourself every time. It was your dedication and tenacity that got us home."  
  
She patted his hand and then resumed eating. "I didn't do it alone, Harry. The crew was always there for me, helping me in so many ways. And then there was the admiral and her advanced technology." She sighed, and her thoughts strayed to Chakotay, in particular. "I miss them, Harry. I miss you and all the others."  
  
"I miss them, too," he admitted, noticing the sadness in her eyes. An idea occurred to him. "Why don't you go see them? I'm sure you have plenty of leave available, and Triax is a beautiful setting. Lots of beaches and even some decent skiing."  
  
She looked away. "You've been there?"  
  
"Sure. I had to see Miral. Her second birthday was coming up and I was in the area. It isn't really that far."  
  
"I don't relish space travel, Harry." She looked up at him with a sheepish grin. "It's hard to be a mere passenger on a ship after being in command all those years."  
  
He laughed. "I can imagine."  
  
They ate silently for awhile before she finally spoke. "How is everyone?"  
  
Harry talked about Tom and B'Elanna, Miral, Ayala and half a dozen others before he finally fell silent. "They seem to enjoy being together," he concluded. "It was fun to be with them again, even if they did make a sport of teasing me."  
  
"I think you liked being teased, Harry." She seemed about to ask a question when she just shook her head. "They're lucky to be together."  
  
"What were you going to ask?" he insisted. "Go ahead."  
  
She blushed. "Well, you didn't mention how Chakotay's doing. Is he over Annika? Does he like his work?"  
  
Chakotay. Of course, he should've known she'd want news about her best friend. "Oh, he's great! He coordinates planetary security, what there is of it, and works with B'Elanna on maintaining the few ships they have. But, his favorite pastime is working in the woodshop. You should see some of his creations! He's built playgrounds for the schools and furniture for every single Voyager family."  
  
He gave her a furtive look and then plunged on. "Tom and I talked about his breakup with Annika. When Axum's cube arrived, Chakotay knew she would leave him. I'm not sure they were getting along all that well anyway. Since then, he's had a couple of women chasing him, but he's kept things pretty platonic, I guess."  
  
She laughed. "I bet those women were blond."  
  
"I wouldn't know," he laughed, too. "Tom never said."  
  
Janeway finished her salad and pushed the tray away in favor of her oversized mug of coffee. "I'm glad he's doing well, Harry, glad that everyone is. I have very maternal feelings about the Voyager crew, you know," she said, winking, "especially the younger ones."  
  
"I appreciate that maternal interest, Captain."  
  
"Be sure to keep me posted on your life," she said, finishing her coffee. "I have a meeting in less than fifteen minutes. Promise me you'll always stop by when you're in town?"  
  
"I promise, Captain."  
  
She leaned toward him in a conspirational manner. "And when we're alone, Harry, you can call me Kathryn."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Give me some time for that, Captain."  
  
She left him finishing his apple pie and walked back to her office to freshen up before her meeting. But, the afternoon was a total loss. Her mind kept returning to the image of Miral and her birthday cake that Tom had sent her, imagining herself there to watch the child opening her presents, smearing her face with icing.  
  
It was good to be home, to see her mother and sister, to work again at Starfleet and be part of a team. But, there were times when she felt left out, like a stranger, when she longed for the other family she'd forged over her seven years on Voyager.  
  
She missed Chakotay most of all.  
  
  
  
To be continued 


	3. Terra Nova 3

Disclaimer: Starfleet belongs to Paramount. No infringement intended.  
  
Summary: In which our favorite command team find out that being a team is what they do best.  
  
Terra Nova by Mizvoy  
  
Chapter 3: Anticipation  
  
A week later, Kathryn Janeway left a two-hour meeting with Admiral Paris feeling angry and frustrated. She'd wanted him to help her get another ship, to get off earth and back into space where she belonged, but he'd basically stonewalled her. The admiralty was happy with her work in analysis, he'd said, and they were considering promoting her so they could keep her there. She'd angrily threatened to refuse a promotion, to resign her commission, to go to the press with their prejudice against her because of another Kathryn Janeway's actions.  
  
That had silenced him. Starfleet had never revealed the true circumstances surrounding Voyager's return, fearing that the fact that an admiral from the future had rewritten twenty-six years of history would create a firestorm of protest in the Federation. He'd reluctantly agreed to discuss her future with Admiral Hayes, but she doubted it would do any good. She forced away feelings of despair.  
  
As she walked toward the transport station, she felt her heart growing heavy. She was lonely and tired, fighting depression as hard as she could. Her spirits had been temporarily lifted the week before when Tuvok had visited her and she'd lunched with Harry, but the glow of their contact quickly faded. Although she saw Annika and a few others regularly, she missed the closeness of a starship crew, the feeling of family, the long hours of work that left her tired enough to sleep at night. She needed a ship. Failing that, she needed a goal to work toward.  
  
But, as she rematerialized in Indiana, she had to be honest with herself. She didn't just need a ship; she needed Voyager. She didn't just need a crew; she needed Voyager's crew. She stopped and looked at her family home, so familiar, so comforting, and knew that she'd been hiding from the truth. She missed being with Tuvok, and Harry, and Tom and B'Elanna. She missed Neelix, Naomi and Samantha, Ayala, Chell, the Delaneys. She missed Chakotay. Especially Chakotay.  
  
Tears sprung to her eyes as she thought of them standing on the bridge when Voyager returned to earth in a blaze of glory. Nothing had turned out as she'd expected. Seven and Chakotay's relationship had quickly stalled and evaporated when Axum had arrived a few weeks later. The Maquis had pled guilty to their crimes and had accepted their commuted sentences gracefully, escaping to new lives on Triax colony the very next day. Older members of the Starfleet crew had retired or resigned and joined them there, while the rest had quickly been reabsorbed into the fleet. Voyager had been decommissioned and disassembled. And she, the triumphant captain, had been labeled untrustworthy and chained to a desk.  
  
The problem was that a seven-year absence was hardly unprecedented, even if they had traveled 70,000 light years from the far reaches of the galaxy. And while she was lauded as the "Marco Polo" of their century, the novelty of their adventure soon wore off. It would be decades before anyone could easily return to the Delta Quadrant, and, in the meantime, their exotic stories were little more than science fiction.  
  
She sighed and walked through the gathering darkness, considering, for the first time in her life, a future that might not include a career in Starfleet. Maybe it was time to fold her tent and slip silently into the night. Maybe she should look at teaching or some sort of scientific research. Maybe she should travel, find a nice, quiet spot, and write her memoirs.  
  
But she'd have to think it through, talk about it with the people she trusted most-her mother, Tuvok, Admiral Paris . . . Chakotay. She stopped in her tracks, suddenly missing her first officer even more than usual. How many times did she glance to her left at moments of decision, as if he would miraculously be at her shoulder as he'd been on Voyager? She missed his calm, steady presence, his creative tactics, his deep insight, and his incredible understanding of her thoughts and dreams. But, Chakotay was gone, involved in a new life, and she'd simply have to find a way to go on, too.  
  
She remembered Admiral Janeway's obsession with changing history, restoring Tuvok's sanity, saving Seven's life, insuring Chakotay's marriage lasted. She wondered what she would think of this future her sacrifice had created. While Tuvok and Seven were certainly better off, Chakotay was alone, Voyager in pieces, and Kathryn's career all but over. Would the admiral think this sorry state of affairs was worth the surrender of her life?  
  
As she approached the house, she noticed lights in the kitchen and her steps quickened. She'd been expecting her mother's return for the last several days. It was just like her to simply appear and fix dinner as if she'd never been gone.  
  
"Mom?" she said, as she burst into the house. "Mom! I'm home!"  
  
"So am I," Gretchen said as she peeked around the corner from the kitchen. "As soon as I get these brownies out of the oven, I'll give you a hug."  
  
Kathryn left her briefcase in the hall and joined her mother in the kitchen, her mouth salivating at the wonderful aroma of caramel brownies fresh and hot. She also saw a pot with fresh marinara sauce, one with boiling water for pasta, and bowl filled with a beautiful salad. "Mom, everything looks and smells wonderful!"  
  
Gretchen gave her daughter a big hug, and then pushed her away to look at her carefully. "You have been eating, right?"  
  
Kathryn laughed. "You can check the replicator logs, Mom, and see that I have been."  
  
"I'll see that you replicated food, but I won't see if you ate it."  
  
Kathryn chuckled. Some things never changed. "How was Phoebe?"  
  
"She's going to have a baby."  
  
"Oh, Mom, that's great news! When's it due?"  
  
"Six months. There's a stack of pictures on the table if you want to look at them."  
  
Kathryn peeled off her tunic and sat down at the table, slowly working her way through the pictures, asking questions about Phoebe's husband, their house, their jobs. Suddenly she fell silent, and Gretchen, who was in the process of draining the pasta, looked up. "Is something wrong, Kath?"  
  
"Who's this?" She held up a photo of a tiny little girl with faint forehead ridges, chocolate smeared all over her face, and a tangle of black hair.  
  
Gretchen didn't flinch. "That's Miral."  
  
"Miral Paris," she whispered.  
  
"Don't you think she looks like her mother?"  
  
Kathryn stared at Gretchen a long while, then studied the picture more carefully. "Miral," she repeated, as if saying the name for the first time. "You did go to Triax."  
  
"I tried to get pictures of everyone," her mother continued. "I thought you'd like that."  
  
Kathryn was silent as she looked through the photos even more slowly, her heart pounding. There they were, the Maquis and many of the Starfleet crew living and working together in what looked to be a nearly ideal setting. She blinked back tears as she thought about her crew. "Triax Colony looks lovely."  
  
Gretchen smiled wickedly to herself. "It's like a new earth."  
  
Her daughter's head snapped up. New Earth. Could Gretchen know what those words would mean to her daughter? She shook her head and went back through the pictures. "Someone's missing," she said.  
  
"Oh, really?" Gretchen brought the salad to the table and glanced over her daughter's shoulder. "I can't imagine who. I was pretty systematic in getting at least one picture of everyone."  
  
"Chakotay. I don't see any pictures of him." She was surprised to hear how disappointed she sounded.  
  
Her mother moved back to the stove. "Oh, Chakotay. Well, I didn't think I'd need to bring pictures of him."  
  
"Why not? He was my first officer, Mother!"  
  
"He came with me."  
  
Kathryn just stared at her in amazement. "He came back to Earth with you."  
  
"I think that's what I said," she replied. "He's in Arizona visiting his sister. I think he plans to see you, too, while he's here. Unless you don't want to see him."  
  
"Why wouldn't I want to see him?" She winced a little at her strident tone and at the steady look her mother gave her.  
  
"He seems to think you're angry with him."  
  
"Well, I should be. He didn't trust me. He didn't have to plead guilty and ruin the rest of his life."  
  
"Kathryn, his decision to plead guilty had nothing to do with his trusting you or not. And I hardly think his life is ruined. He seems quite happy to me." She served her daughter pasta and salad and returned to the stove for her own. "He says he did what they accused him of, Kathryn, and that he was prepared to pay the consequences for his actions." She sat down and poured them each a glass of wine. "He handled the situation like an adult, if you ask me."  
  
Kathryn placed the photos carefully by her place mat and toyed with her pasta. "Was it so adult of him to run off the way he did? Without even a goodbye?"  
  
"You remember what it was like," her mother said evenly. "The press was relentless. No one could draw an easy breath. And then Axum arrived. I can't blame him for leaving, even if he did leave too quickly."  
  
"I bet he's anxious to see Annika."  
  
"He says he's planning to see everyone he can from Voyager while he's here-you, Annika, Harry, the Wildmans." She put down her fork and sighed. "Are you jealous?"  
  
"Of what?"  
  
"Tom Paris thinks you had feelings for Chakotay."  
  
Kathryn frowned and pushed her plate away. "Not that rumor again! Please, Mother, you know I'd never get involved with my first officer!"  
  
"Oh, I know you didn't get involved with him. The question is whether you had feelings for him." She studied her daughter carefully, noticing the red blush crawling up her neck. "And whether he had feelings for you."  
  
"I don't think that's anybody's business but mine, Mother."  
  
"Yours and Chakotay's."  
  
Kathryn sniffed. "He had a funny way of showing interest in my feelings, running off the way he did." She reached for her wineglass. "He's demonstrated a preference for blondes." She took a long sip. "Several times, in fact."  
  
"So, dye your hair!"  
  
"Mother! Honestly! He's my first officer! He's a convicted felon! He lives hundreds of light-years away from here! And he obviously doesn't care about me!"  
  
"Kathryn, he's no longer in Starfleet. Many people consider him a hero, not a criminal. And one or the other of you can move." She watched her daughter twirl the wineglass nervously between her hands. "When I first met your father, I didn't give him a second thought. I wasn't about to marry a Starfleet officer. No way. And your father avoided Admiral's daughters like the plague, especially Admiral Kiernan's daughter. He and my father had tangled more than once on Federation policy. Our relationship had no hope at all."  
  
Kathryn looked up, suddenly interested. "I didn't know that."  
  
"Well, we didn't talk about it with you girls."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"He came to the University of Indiana for an advanced degree in quantum physics. I was working on my master's in math. Although we had met briefly at a reception a couple of years before, without his uniform and without my father around, we didn't recognize each other at first."  
  
She paused, her eyes taking a faraway look. "I remember that meeting as if it were yesterday. He had the bluest eyes that seemed to see right through me. I almost lost my breath." She smiled. "I fell in love with Edward Janeway in spite of myself, and he loved me from the first, too. When we realized who we were, we decided we couldn't continue to see each other, but I couldn't get him out of my mind. Or out of my heart. I knew it was Edward or no one for me from that moment on, Kathryn. I had to accept his career and he had to accept my father as part of the bargain."  
  
Kathryn grinned. "I bet you had some long arguments before you worked it all out."  
  
"Well," her mother sighed, "the nice thing about arguments is the making up after them. We compromised by living in Indiana, away from Starfleet command and Paris. And, we only saw Grandpa twice a year."  
  
"Thanksgiving and a week in July."  
  
"I've seen the picture you have of Chakotay in your night stand."  
  
Kathryn studied her glass. "That's snooping."  
  
"I was looking for your lost pips one morning, and there it was."  
  
"So I have a picture of him. He was a good friend."  
  
"And you can't get him out of your mind. Or your heart. Can you?"  
  
"Enough of this!" Kathryn stood up, suddenly embarrassed. "We aren't you and Dad, Mother. It wasn't love at first sight. I don't moon for him day and night like a college girl. I'm glad you're home, but this conversation is over. I'm tired and I'm going to bed. Good night." With that, she scooped up her tunic and stomped from the room.  
  
"Good night, Kathryn," her mother said, taking another bite of pasta. She chewed thoughtfully as she heard the door of her daughter's room close firmly. "But excuse me if I don't believe you."  
  
*  
  
Kathryn spent the next ten days on pins and needles, aware that every incoming message and every unannounced visitor could be Chakotay. She found herself scanning the crowds for his face as she walked to and from her office. Even at home when she tried to relax, she knew he was somewhere on the North American continent and liable to appear without warning right in front of her. If she had remembered his sister's last name, she might have contacted him first just to lessen the tension, but he'd only called her Liana.  
  
On the morning of the eleventh day she decided to quiz her mother. "How long did you say Chakotay was planning to stay?"  
  
Gretchen turned her back to hide her tiny smile. "A week or so, I think."  
  
Although Kathryn expected to be relieved, she discovered that being neglected a second time only deepened the hurt. He must have forgotten to see her. Or run out of time. "So much for that, then."  
  
"I'm sure he's been busy."  
  
"Right. He was too busy." Too busy to stop by for an hour? She finished her breakfast and made her way to the transport site feeling more morose than she had in days. She was quiet and withdrawn all morning, oblivious to the beautiful San Francisco day that begged for a nice leisurely walk. "I'm going to the Night Owl for lunch," she told her secretary. "And I may be late getting back."  
  
"Enjoy yourself," the secretary replied, glad that her boss was taking some much needed time off. "It's supposed to start raining tonight."  
  
Kathryn strolled slowly through the Starfleet gardens and the streets of the city, enjoying the combination of warm sun and cool breeze and trying to decide which salad she'd order. She even contemplated stopping by the gym for a few laps in the pool before returning to her office. She was halfway through her taco salad when a shadow fell over the table.  
  
"Your secretary said I'd find you here," said a familiar voice. Kathryn froze, her fork in midair as Chakotay sat down across from her in the booth. "Do you mind if I join you?"  
  
She looked up into his smiling face, the dark brown eyes twinkling and the devastating dimples on full display. To Kathryn, every sound in the noisy café disappeared as their eyes locked. Her heart raced as she struggled to swallow, choking on the salad. Chakotay encouraged her to drink some water and came around to her side of the booth to pound her on the back. Finally, tears in her eyes, she gasped, "Chakotay!"  
  
He was grinning at her. "I'm sorry to surprise you, Kathryn. Didn't your mom warn you I'd be coming to see you?"  
  
She still struggled for breath, cleared her throat several times, and signaled the waitress for more water. "Yes, but I thought you'd forgotten. It's been nearly two weeks."  
  
"I know. My schedule was changed. I've been to Risa for an impromptu family reunion and just got back last night. Besides, I know better than to leave without seeing you, especially after last time."  
  
She finally caught her breath and twisted around to look at him. "You got back last night?"  
  
"Yes, and I'm afraid I slept in this morning." He moved back to the opposite bench so he could see her better. "I was hoping to take you to lunch. Mind if I order something?"  
  
"Of course not." She laughed as she listened to him order a dinner salad, eggplant parmagiana, pasta alfredo, fried mushrooms, pecan pie, and a large chocolate milkshake. "Didn't they feed you on the transport?"  
  
"I missed breakfast," he replied, winking at the waitress as she refilled Kathryn's coffee cup. Kathryn sipped the coffee and toyed with her salad, happy just to look at him. He was gratified to see that she'd put on a little weight, just enough to make her look athletic and healthy. "You've been working out."  
  
She smiled. "Yes. I try to swim a few times a week, and I lift some weights now and then. You, on the other hand, look just the same. Maybe a little more gray hair, but otherwise just the same."  
  
"I have a few sparring partners, and I try to run every day."  
  
They fell silent, enjoying each other's presence as Chakotay attacked his meal. Gradually, they caught up with each other. Chakotay described his work on Triax and the few remaining members of his family who had met on Risa. Kathryn explained her quandary-how her need for a ship was frustrated by Admiral Janeway's actions. He listened quietly as she complained and railed against the admiralty in particular and Starfleet in general. She finally stopped, grinning apologetically.  
  
"I apologize, Chakotay, for going on and on. I've needed to talk to someone I trust about all this, and you presented yourself as if on cue."  
  
"Glad I could help. In fact, I'm glad you still trust me." He leaned back as the waitress delivered the pie and took his empty dishes. "Here," he said, handing her a spoon, "help me eat this pie. I know it's your favorite."  
  
She took the spoon and scooped a bite into her mouth. "Yum. Thanks for sharing."  
  
"My pleasure." They took turns with the pie until the last scrap was gone, and then Chakotay relaxed against the back of the bench. "How much vacation time have you taken since we got back, Kathryn?"  
  
She looked away, her eyes thoughtful. "Not much."  
  
"No, really. A month? Two months?"  
  
"A couple of weeks, altogether."  
  
"That's all? No wonder you're tired. You need a break. You need to get away from Starfleet for awhile and consider your future from a different perspective."  
  
"Funny you say that," she said softly. "For the first time in my life, I've actually contemplated leaving Starfleet. I'm not sure I have much of a future left there anyway."  
  
He shook his head in disbelief. "Am I hearing right? Did I just hear Kathryn Janeway say she might leave Starfleet?" He chuckled. "Your secretary told me you didn't have a thing on your calendar this afternoon. Why not take some time off and let me show you something."  
  
Her face lit up. "A surprise? What is it?"  
  
He shook his head. "You're still like a child about surprises, aren't you? If I tell you it won't be a surprise."  
  
They beamed into a hangar located near a deserted airstrip in Arizona. Chakotay went to the security panel and tapped in his code, flooding the huge bay with light and revealing a small tactical runabout near the hangar doors. Kathryn's mouth fell open in shock.  
  
"I don't believe my eyes." She turned to Chakotay. "Is that what I think it is?"  
  
"It is if you think it's an early model of your father's last ship. Production number 47, to be exact." He watched as she walked reverently to the ship and touched it. Her father and fiance had died right before her eyes when a prototype of this ship, the Terra Nova, had crashed. He couldn't imagine what she was thinking or feeling to see this shuttle again. "I purchased it for the colony. We need small reliable ships like this."  
  
"Reliable?" She smiled up at him, tears shimmering in her eyes. "It must be twenty years old. Does it even fly?"  
  
He grinned. "Not very well. I'm going to get it space worthy and fly it back to Triax. My sister's relatives have a cabin just up the hill, and I'm planning to stay there while I work on it."  
  
"A long while, unless you know a miracle worker." She walked to the back of the ship and manually released the door, peering in. "At least the inside is in one piece. But this nacelle is shot."  
  
"So is the other one. But the impulse engines work." He shrugged. "It's a fixer-upper."  
  
She laughed. "Chakotay, your stay may be longer than you think."  
  
"Not if you help me."  
  
"Me?" She spun to face him. "I'm not an engineer."  
  
"You could've fooled me. I wish you knew how many times B'Elanna complained to me about your 'micromanagement' of engineering. But, most of the time, she was glad for extra hands."  
  
Kathryn grew thoughtful and turned to study the ship. "Number 47, huh?" She ran her hand along the exterior as she walked to the front of the ship. "I do have quite a bit of leave to use."  
  
"This is something completely different from what you've been doing, Kathryn, and it will be helping the colonists, our crew. Plus, it's something we can do together."  
  
Together. That sounded nice. She turned to him, a grin on her face. "I'll do it."  
  
"Great! What do you say we run some diagnostics and try to figure out what to do first."  
  
She rubbed her hands together. "Oh, no, Commander. First we make sure the onboard replicator is programmed for good, hot coffee!"  
  
He laughed. "Yes, ma'am."  
  
Suddenly, the future looked promising, very promising indeed.  
  
To be continued 


	4. Terra Nova 4

Disclaimer: Starfleet belongs to Paramount. No infringement intended.  
  
Summary: In which our favorite command team find out that being a team is what they do best.  
  
Terra Nova by Mizvoy  
  
Chapter 4: Reconstruction  
  
One week later, Chakotay made his way through the darkened hangar and approached the partially disassembled shuttle. When he peered into the engineering section, he spied two very shapely legs sticking out from beneath a console. Soft Bajoran jazz filled the compartment and a slim booted foot moved with the rhythm of the music.  
  
"Kathryn? You're still here?"  
  
She slid out from beneath the console, wiping her hands on a rag. "Obviously. I said I'd leave as soon as I finish this. Why?"  
  
"I thought you'd left an hour ago. I'd already locked up the hangar."  
  
She sat up, frowning. "What time is it?"  
  
"Here, it's 745. But in Indiana, it's . . ."  
  
"It's 945," she interrupted. "Damn. I missed dinner again. Did my mother call?"  
  
"Just now. I told her I thought you were gone, and she just laughed. She suggested I feed you here since you never seem to touch the plates she leaves for you." He reached down and helped her to her feet.  
  
"In other words, she was angry with me. And who could blame her? I've missed dinner three nights in a row."  
  
"She didn't sound mad. I think she's used to the way you become engrossed in your work and ignore her."  
  
Kathryn grimaced. "I'm afraid it's a lifelong habit."  
  
"You can apologize later. I was sitting down to eat." They walked out of the hanger, shutting down the power and locking the office door on their way to the cabin. "Aren't you hungry?"  
  
As if on cue, Kathryn's stomach growled. "Now that you mention it . . ." They laughed and started up the hill arm in arm.  
  
They lingered over dinner, their conversation covering dozens of topics from the progress they'd made on the "Terra Nova" as they called the shuttle, to the recent presidential elections, to Miral Paris' second birthday party. They were halfway through their second bottle of wine when Kathryn yawned.  
  
"I'd better head for home or I'll meet myself beaming back in the morning."  
  
Chakotay smiled. "You have no idea what time it is, do you?"  
  
"I'm not sure I want to know."  
  
"It's after 0100."  
  
"You're kidding! I can't sneak into Mom's house at 0300! I'll wake up the dogs and create havoc."  
  
"I agree. You'll have to stay in my guest room tonight."  
  
She sighed as she closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair, stifling another yawn, suddenly drowsy. "I don't think I have a choice."  
  
He stood up and guided her down the hall. "I think you should stay here until the project's finished, Kathryn. How much sense does it make to beam back to Indiana to sleep only to return first thing in the morning? Besides, you put in more hours here than you did at Starfleet."  
  
"Because I love the work. I'd consider it, but I'm afraid staying here would scandalize my mom."  
  
"I don't think so," he replied as he ushered into the small cozy room. On the bed was Kathryn's suitcase. "She beamed your stuff over when she called. She thinks you should 'live where you work,' in her words."  
  
Kathryn shook her head. "That woman never ceases to amaze me."  
  
Chakotay just laughed. "She's a Janeway, that's why."  
  
*  
  
Kathryn sipped coffee in the hanger office and watched through the window as Chakotay and Annika spoke privately for the first time since their breakup. They both seemed relaxed and friendly, and Kathryn hoped that they'd found their way past any hurt feelings. She was glad that Annika and Axum had found happiness together, regretting only that it had come at Chakotay's expense.  
  
Harry Kim let himself into the office and headed for the replicator. "I should've called to let you know Annika and Axum were coming with me," he apologized.  
  
"That would've been nice," she agreed, closing her eyes as she remembered the pain she'd seen on Chakotay's face when the couple arrived. "But maybe it was better this way."  
  
"I never thought that relationship would work," Harry Kim said, as he poured himself a cup of coffee and looked out into the hangar bay. "At least, not anywhere but in the limited universe of Voyager."  
  
Kathryn turned to him with a smile. "I always thought you were better suited for her, Harry. For awhile there, I thought you were hopelessly snared."  
  
"For awhile, I was," he grinned back, blushing. "I got over it, though. Eventually."  
  
"Axum is perfect for her."  
  
"In so many ways," Harry agreed, glancing toward Axum, the tall blond alien who was working on the Terra Nova's port nacelle. "He's known and loved Annika for a many years, and he's struggling with all the same Borg drone experiences she is."  
  
"I can't tell you how much we appreciate your coming to help us this weekend. I think we've done a week's worth of work in the last two days."  
  
"It's been fun." Harry didn't mention how curious they'd been about the former command team's joint project. The rumors were progressing through Voyager's former crew at light speed, and Harry had been tasked with reconnaissance. So far, all he'd seen was the familiar friendship and teasing between them. But they were staying together in the rustic cabin and spending all their time together. "We both want to help the colony."  
  
They watched as Chakotay gave Annika a chaste one-armed hug and headed for the office. Meanwhile, Annika took a direct path toward Axum, a look of relief on her face. The parting was obviously amicable.  
  
"Guess I'll get back to work," Harry said, pouring what was left of his coffee into the sink. "Icheb is supposed to be finishing the astrometrics upgrade and will be wanting me to go over it with him."  
  
Harry let Chakotay into the office as he left, giving his former command team a chance to talk privately and wishing he could be a fly on the wall. He'd wondered if the two of them would realize that they were perfect for each other now that Annika was permanently out of the picture. He hoped so. He wanted them to be happy.  
  
"Chakotay," Kathryn asked, "do you regret our decision to ask them to help us?"  
  
"Not at all. The repairs are progressing much faster over the last two days thanks to their help." He replicated a cup of tea, noticing Kathryn's silence and realizing that she had probably been referring to his talk with Annika. "Unless you think I'm uncomfortable with Annika and Axum."  
  
"The thought had occurred to me."  
  
"I had to face facts sooner or later. Might as well get it over with." He sipped his tea and sighed. "Besides, I was always going to come in second to her memories of him."  
  
"I didn't realize that Annika was carrying a torch for anyone." She turned to him, her eyes soft. "So, how are you, really?"  
  
"I'm fine. Really." He studied his mug, and then he shrugged. "It wasn't meant to be, I guess. Anyway, how can I feel sorry for myself when she's so happy. Axum's perfect for her."  
  
Kathryn walked close and looked into his eyes. "People say that, but I'm not so naïve as to believe it. Knowing someone else is happy doesn't mean you are if they've broken your heart." She thought about how sorry she'd felt for herself when the admiral had told her Annika and Chakotay were going to be married. She'd wanted so much to be happy for them, but the thought of them together hurt too much.  
  
"My heart isn't broken, Kathryn."  
  
"I'm glad. I want you to be happy, Chakotay. I want everyone to be happy."  
  
"Even Kathryn?" He grinned at the surprised look on her face. "You never think of yourself, do you? Working with you makes me happy."  
  
"If that's all it takes, then I think you'd better raise your happiness threshold."  
  
He stepped closer and lifted her face with a hand beneath her chin, his eyes suddenly dark with passion. "I'm afraid that raising that bar would require the modification of some long-standing parameters."  
  
They stared into each other's eyes, and Kathryn discovered she couldn't breathe, much less talk. She thought for a tantalizing moment that he would kiss her, but just as she was about to close her eyes and lean toward him, Icheb burst into the office. They separated quickly, embarrassed to be caught in a near embrace, but Icheb was oblivious to the intimate scene he'd just interrupted.  
  
"Guess what!" he said, his face glowing with excitement. "Annika and Axum are getting married!"  
  
*  
  
Later that night, while Chakotay secured the hangar and set up the security net around the cabin, Kathryn lounged in a hot tub of water and thought about all of the work they'd accomplished over the weekend. The project would be coming to an end in just a couple of weeks, and the thought of that, the thought of returning to her do-nothing job and of Chakotay's departure, caused a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.  
  
There could only be one reason for her sadness, and it was time to face it: she was in love with Chakotay. She had never let herself acknowledge her feelings for him before. When they'd first met, she'd been engaged to Mark Johnson and Chakotay had been the criminal she'd been forced to take as her first officer in order to survive. Later, she'd refused to consider him as an eligible man because of Starfleet protocol, because she needed him so much more as her friend and first officer. Then, on Voyager's return, there'd been his budding relationship with Annika, and when that ended, his sudden departure for the Triax Colony. But the last few weeks of working with him had been a blissful and pleasurable experience reminiscent of New Earth. She had forgotten just how much she enjoyed being with him, how she never tired of his company.  
  
With a sigh, she stepped out of the tub and dried off, putting on a warm flannel gown and robe against the chill of the desert night. Before turning in, she decided to take the quilt from her bed and spend a few minutes in quiet meditation on the screened porch of the cabin where she could look up at the stars. She walked through the dark living room and settled onto a lounge chair just as Chakotay started his shower. His bathroom shared an outside wall with the porch, and Kathryn could hear him as he began to sing, as he always did, while showering.  
  
She remembered how she'd teased him about that habit on New Earth, but he'd only grinned at her: "I sound like Anton Marsei in there, Kathryn. Even the doctor would be jealous of me. You should join me sometime and find out for yourself." His eyes had sparkled with mischief as he'd teased her, but she wondered what he would think if she told him how often she'd actually dreamed of joining him there. But, he wouldn't believer her. His involvement with Annika was proof that he'd given up on anything like that ever happening between them. Her strict adherence to protocol in the Delta Quadrant had no doubt convinced him that she was asexual at best, frigid at worst.  
  
And who was she to force herself on him at this late date? What mattered right now was the feeling she had of contentment, of doing something useful and making a difference in the lives of people who mattered to her. The Terra Nova would be a reliable workhorse for the colony, one she was proud to help provide them. The fact that it was her father's design was especially poignant to her, because it connected her father and Chakotay in a way that she treasured. Plus, the complete restoration of her friendship with Chakotay was beyond price. She hadn't been this happy since the last few weeks on New Earth.  
  
Suddenly drowsy, she pulled the quilt around her and closed her eyes. Perhaps if she just thought about those lost days, if she concentrated on Chakotay's voice in the shower, she'd fall asleep with a smile on her face and keep that happiness even after he was gone.  
  
An hour later, Chakotay tossed and turned in his bed unable to fall asleep. The excitement of the day had left him exhausted, yet unsettled. It had been difficult, at first, to see Annika with Axum, yet he'd discovered that he liked the man and soon realized how good they were together. When they announced their upcoming marriage, he'd been happy for them, yet also dejected and lonely, especially after the electrifying moment of connection with Kathryn in the hangar office.  
  
For the first time in the nine years he'd known her, she'd seemed open to him, emotionally vulnerable, and he had become immediately aroused, much to his embarrassment. He wondered what might've happened if Icheb hadn't interrupted them when he did, and then shook his head. He'd never get to sleep if he thought about that. He'd learned over the years to repress his feelings for her. She'd made it clear that she was uninterested in him, whatever the reason, and he'd decided to settle for the friendship she was willing to offer rather than push for anything more.  
  
He decided that a mug of warm milk might help him fall asleep. As he left his room, he noticed a bar of light beneath Kathryn's closed door and considered, briefly, talking to her about his insomnia. If ever there would be an expert on sleeplessness, it would be Kathryn Janeway. But he quickly thought better of it. He sensed that she was a big part of his problem, and seeing her in her bedroom, in her nightclothes, would do nothing to help him relax.  
  
He was almost to the kitchen when he noticed that the door to the porch was unlocked, even though he was sure he'd locked it before he'd taken his shower. He peered out into the darkened porch and saw Kathryn rolled up in a quilt, fast asleep on a lounge chair. He considered letting her sleep through the night out there, but then a chilled breeze blew through the door and he knew she would grow cold before dawn.  
  
He knelt down beside her and for a few moments just looked at her. He thought she was more beautiful than ever, more rested and relaxed, closer to the woman he'd known on New Earth. He reached out and gently pushed a strand of hair away from her face. Her eyes opened and she smiled at him.  
  
"Hi. You fell asleep on the porch again," he said.  
  
"I'm cold!" she complained, pulling the quilt closer around her. "I should get up and go to my nice warm bed."  
  
"Let me help." He scooped her up from the lounge chair, easily cradling her small body against his chest. "This way you won't have to lose the warmth you've generated in there."  
  
She didn't protest, but just snuggled into his neck with a sigh. "You smell good."  
  
"I just got out of the shower." He paused long enough to lock the porch door before heading toward her bedroom.  
  
"I heard you in there. Your singing is better than I remember," she teased. "I almost recognized the tune this time."  
  
He grinned and sang softly, "'The day I met you, I found the meaning of love; Who knew a woman could be an angel from above?'"  
  
Tears filled her eyes. "I wasn't much of a woman out there, Chakotay, or an angel either. I was the captain through and through, and nothing else."  
  
"I saw the woman."  
  
She lifted her head to look into his eyes. He stopped just inside her bedroom door. "You did, didn't you?" she whispered, cradling his face in her palm. She wanted to kiss him. "I never thanked you for that."  
  
"You're welcome. I still see a woman. A very beautiful woman."  
  
"Oh, Chakotay," she sighed. She slid from his arms, standing and pulling his body close, her arms around his waist. This might be their last chance, and she wasn't going to let it pass her by. "What happened between us in the office today?"  
  
"I . . . I wasn't sure . . . how you feel about me."  
  
"I'm so sorry about that."  
  
His heart sank. Just as he thought, she didn't reciprocate his feelings. "Don't apologize, Kathryn. It's not your fault."  
  
"What's not my fault?" she pulled back to look up at him.  
  
"Just because I love you doesn't mean you're obligated to love me. I understand."  
  
"But I do love you, Chakotay. I've loved you for years."  
  
For a moment he was too stunned to speak. "Wh-what?"  
  
"What I'm sorry about is that I couldn't tell you before, couldn't show you before how much I care about you."  
  
"You love me."  
  
She laughed, burrowing into his chest. "Is that so hard to believe? Haven't you sensed the attraction between us all these years?"  
  
"I did, but I didn't know if you did," he admitted, putting his arms around her. "You never seemed to."  
  
"That's what I regret, Chakotay. And I want to make it up to you."  
  
"You do?"  
  
She took his hand, leading him toward the bed. "Stay with me tonight?"  
  
He hesitated. She turned and looked at him, her eyes troubled. "I can't be casual about this, Kathryn. I can't have a brief fling with you. That would break my heart."  
  
Her eyes softened as she realized that he needed reassurance just as much as she did. "I don't know what my future holds, Chakotay, whether I'll be in Starfleet this time next month, whether I'll have another ship and sent into deep space, whether I'll be promoted or unemployed. But I want my future to include you. And I'll work with you to make sure it happens. Whatever it takes." She looked up at him, tears shimmering in her eyes. "This isn't a brief fling. I love you too much for that."  
  
"We'll work things out," he repeated, pulling her close, burying his face in her hair. He'd spent enough years in Starfleet to know what she was asking of him, but he didn't care. She loved him, and that was all that mattered. "Nothing can defeat us, Kathryn, when we work together."  
  
Nothing can defeat us, she thought, unless we decide not to fight.  
  
  
  
To be continued 


	5. Terra Nova 5

Disclaimer: Starfleet belongs to Paramount. No infringement intended.  
  
Summary: In which our favorite command team find out that being a team is what they do best.  
  
Terra Nova by Mizvoy  
  
Chapter 5: New Resolutions  
  
Three weeks passed, and Chakotay sat in the cockpit of the Terra Nova running through the preflight checklist. The project had turned out to be a healing one in a very personal way. Against all odds, he and Kathryn had finally found each other while restoring the ship. The last two weeks' work had taken three weeks to accomplish, thanks to the time they'd spent exploring their new relationship, but their time together had been precious and unforgettable.  
  
Even so, the problems they faced seemed almost insurmountable. Chakotay wasn't about to desert his friends on the Triax Colony, and Kathryn was still trying to decide where her future lay. As he prepared to leave, she was at Starfleet HQ negotiating her future assignment, and Chakotay feared she'd take a ship and disappear from his life for months at a time. But, they loved each other and they were committed to making their relationship work. He held onto that thought like a lifeline.  
  
She'd left one week earlier. He'd watched as she'd dressed in her Starfleet uniform, mumbling under her breath as she struggled to reattach the four pips to her turtleneck in a straight row and right in the middle of the fold. He wasn't used to the new gray jumpsuit and burgundy shirt and had found himself staring at her. She looked down at herself and then at him. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"I'm used to seeing you in civvies, that's all."  
  
"It's these new uniforms, isn't it?"  
  
"They're versatile. Utilitarian."  
  
"Ugly." She laughed at the surprised look on his face. "Well, I should have an answer to my future sometime this week. Do they trust me enough to give me a ship? Are they going to force me to take a promotion and perform public relations appearances for the rest of my career?"  
  
"Have you decided what you'll do?" He studied her face, but couldn't discern any emotion, any hint of her decision. "I assume you'll stay with Starfleet, no matter what."  
  
"I'm not so sure. I haven't really thought through what I'd do if I retired." She turned to the mirror by the front door to check her brass one last time. "The colony couldn't use a decent scientist, could it?"  
  
He hoped she couldn't hear how his heart was pounding as he walked up behind her and wrapped her in his arms. "We'd find something constructive for you to do, Kathryn."  
  
She smiled faintly, pulling away. "If I don't leave now, I'll be late for work." They walked hand-in-hand to the transport site in the hangar, enjoying the early morning warmth of the sun and the cool breeze coming up from the valley. She turned to him. "You'll be here another week?"  
  
"More or less. I've got some cosmetic changes to make to the ship and then the flight inspection by the Feds. After that I have a shopping list as long as my arm from the colony. Everything from wines to mushrooms to spices. And I need to see Leila and my cousins again. I'm going to be a moving target, I'm afraid."  
  
She nodded, trying to mask her disappointment. She'd proposed that she transport back to him each night, but Chakotay had informed her that he needed the flexibility to come and go as he pleased. She suspected that he also wanted her to miss him, to realize what her life would be like without him once he was gone. "Will you notify me before you leave?"  
  
"Of course." He ducked his head. "I wouldn't dare leave without telling you goodbye a second time."  
  
"Promise." She looked forlorn, worried.  
  
"Promise."  
  
With a weak smile, she tapped her commbadge and notified the transport net that she was ready to leave. Chakotay felt that a large part of his heart had disappeared with her in the transporter signal.  
  
Now, a week later, he was ready to go. He'd left a message informing her of the time of his departure, but hadn't heard a word back. He was worried about her silence. He had a feeling that she'd made a decision that didn't include being with him. Maybe someday they could be together all the time. He wouldn't give up hope.  
  
He'd finished the preflight checklist and was just about to open the hangar doors to leave when a subspace message arrived from San Francisco. From Kathryn. He activated the commlink and waited for the familiar blue field to disappear. She was wearing civvies, he noted, but at this early hour, that wasn't a significant sign. Her hair was carefully arranged and her makeup perfect. He figured she was ready into change into her uniform and head for work as soon as they finished talking.  
  
"Hello, Kathryn." He was surprised that his voice sounded so steady, so calm.  
  
She smiled. "You're on the Terra Nova."  
  
"I just finished the preflight and was about to open the doors."  
  
"You're leaving right this minute?"  
  
"Well, I have a four-hour departure window with planetary control. I have plenty of time to hear the details about your week."  
  
She nodded, suddenly tentative. "Since you aren't in a hurry, could I transport in? I'd rather talk in person."  
  
By the time he'd exited the ship, she was on the hangar platform walking toward him, still out of uniform. Maybe she'd arranged her schedule so she could stay for a few hours. "This is a nice surprise, Kathryn!" he said, beaming at her, relieved to be able to tell her goodbye in person. "I thought I wouldn't get a proper send-off."  
  
She took his arm, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Let's walk while we talk." At first, she was silent, and he was content just to be with her. They started up the path toward the cabin as they had dozens of times before, and he basked in the comfortable quiet between them, taking it as a sign of their restored emotional connection. She stopped just outside the cabin and faced him. "Six days ago, I retired from Starfleet."  
  
His mouth fell open in surprise. "Six days ago?"  
  
She blinked back tears. "They decided that Admiral Janeway's actions and my bending of the prime directive and other Starfleet protocols 'precluded assignment to command positions.'" She crossed her arms and took a deep calming breath. "Oh, they wanted to promote me so I could continue to be their golden girl, but I couldn't see it. I heard them out, handed them my pips, and went home to Indiana."  
  
"You didn't call me."  
  
She could tell he was hurt. "I was too angry." She turned away and walked to an outcropping of rock that overlooked the valley. "Do you know what incident they focused on?" She looked at him over her left shoulder. "The time I threatened Noah Lessing's life. The time you stopped me from murdering him."  
  
"Equinox. What a mess that was. You wouldn't have let it happen." He felt sick at his stomach at the memory. That series of events had haunted him, and Kathryn, for years.  
  
"Oh, yes, I would have." She wrapped her arms around herself. "I was out of control, and you saved me from committing murder. Have I ever thanked you for that?"  
  
"Kathryn, don't do this. If Noah's forgiven you, surely you can forgive yourself."  
  
She turned away again, her shoulders stiff with tension. "I cried for two days. My mother was beside herself. Then I did some serious thinking, trying to imagine my life outside of Starfleet. I couldn't do it, Chakotay. I couldn't imagine not putting on that uniform every day. My thoughts went round and round in my mind. I was angry at everyone else for awhile and then at myself. That's when I got your message."  
  
"You should've called me right away, Kathryn. You needed me. I thought we loved each other."  
  
She faced him, tears welling up in her eyes. "I do love you, Chakotay, I do need you, and I have called you."  
  
He hesitated only a second before he went to her, putting his arms around her and cradling her against his body. She dissolved into tears as she threw her arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder. In all their years in the Delta Quadrant, in all the tragedies and crises they'd faced, he'd never seen her cry like this, huge gulping sobs that wracked her whole body. He spoke quietly to her, reassuring her of his belief in her, of her integrity, of her goodness. Eventually, he walked her back to the cabin, settled her on the sofa, and got her a big cup of coffee and a warm washcloth for her mottled face.  
  
"I'm sorry," she sniffed, burying her face in the warm cloth. "I'm not usually this emotional."  
  
He sat down and put his arm around her. "Kathryn, for seven years you did your best to run a Starfleet ship in the midst of the worst possible circumstances. You did a fine job, plus you got your crew home in just seven years. You're a miracle worker, a true hero, and you deserve to be given the biggest ship in the fleet for what you've done."  
  
She gazed at him, her eyes shining. "I didn't do it alone, you know. I couldn't have done it without the crew. Especially without you."  
  
He took her hand. "No matter what else I do in my life, working with you will always be my proudest accomplishment."  
  
"Because you survived it."  
  
"No, although that's part of it." He grinned. "We're a perfect team, Kathryn. Your scientific, analytical, skeptical mind paired with my intuitive, spiritual leaps of faith made for some interesting arguments, but never led us astray."  
  
"I was wondering about that."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The team." She stroked his cheek. "I've enjoyed our time together working on the Terra Nova. In fact, I was sorry when it was time to go back to Starfleet." She blushed and looked away. "I never thought I'd hear myself say that."  
  
He grinned, hope blossoming in his chest. "You know, it's a long trip to Triax all alone. Coming along with me would give you some time to think about what you want to do next without any external pressure. And I could use your company."  
  
"In what capacity?"  
  
"I'll let you be captain, if that's what you mean."  
  
She laughed out loud. "I hardly think that's necessary, with a crew of two." She looked down at the hangar in the shimmering heat of the desert. "But I'm tempted."  
  
"Come with me, Kathryn. Spending some time with the former crew on the colony will do you some good, too. You might find meaningful work to do. You might even come to like it there." With me, he wanted to add.  
  
"Where would I stay?"  
  
He decided to throw caution to the wind. "I have plenty of room in my cabin."  
  
She turned to face him, as if she'd been waiting to hear those words. "All right. I'll go."  
  
He smiled. "I'll rearrange my schedule so you can tell your mom goodbye and pack your things."  
  
"Oh, that's not necessary. I've already packed. My things were supposed to be transported ten minutes after I was. And I told Mom goodbye before I called you this morning."  
  
He was obviously delighted. "Kathryn Janeway. You're very sure of yourself."  
  
She moved close to him, sliding her arms around his waist. "If so, it's because you've made me feel secure. I love you."  
  
Chakotay froze, afraid to move. He could feel the heat from her body, smell her distinctive perfume, and he was drawn toward her like a magnet. He leaned down and gently kissed her. "I love you, too. I really didn't want to leave without you."  
  
She smiled and snuggled into his chest. Forget the four-hour departure window, she thought. It would be a few days before they'd be ready to focus on anything except each other and all the possibilities of their future.  
  
"Whatever happens next, Chakotay, we do it together."  
  
"Aye, Captain."  
  
"That's Kathryn to you, mister." She looked up at him, her eyes shining. "Suddenly, I'm anxious for our future to start."  
  
His eyes twinkled as he pulled her onto his lap and gave her a passionate kiss. "Let's start it now."  
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
